Ambience. Something watching over me.

When I took this photograph I saw the title straight away. I’ve always wanted to live in a seaside shack. To sit in isolation and garner every single hoped for in my life. All my inner realisation ambitions achieved because finally I had the time to set them free. An elongated process of the spiritual journey called ‘Vision Quest’. Tap down into the psyche. Find pleasure in experimentation with the arts. Read many books. Eventually come out from that seaside shack door, after entering it in a physical and mental quagmire of chaos, with an enlightened and satisfied soul form. This white wooden abode would overlook the trembling sea. The crash of surf on pebble counting the seconds, minutes, weeks to months of gentle time spent.

Then I thought of what is represented in that overlooking ‘guardian’ in tower form. Who was watching over me? Whilst I lived and spent imagined days of delight sitting within that white structure filled with my iconic belongings of comfort and never let me downs. What help would I actually need from an angelic entity?

Then the lightbulb went on. That guardian? Would it proffer a simple nudge in the right direction. I imagined the guardian would have no interest in providing deep analysis or insights. It wanted me to find it all for myself and allow me to add my own ongoing findings to my inner sanctuary. And then I thought of holistic. We exist in a biological, psychological, emotional and social world, not as an essential collective all the time. There has to be long periods spent concerning ‘Me’. Just me. Not egotistical. But survival.

What helps to realise ‘Me’ into an entity of well being? In actuality? It’s…….The senses. I truly believe it to be the senses. Ambience of being. Smell, touch, seeing, beliefs, taste, listening, learning. Those individual past, present and future hoped for experiences of collective positives that exist to appease the soul.

As an example? You’ve discovered something that has brought enlightenment to your purpose in life. Time on your hands has awakened an inherent need. Something that was bubbling under the surface. Or a deep down dream or ambition that was forgotten. Way back in my past. I discovered the simplicity, which allowed me the complexity of working with clay.

Clay. Cold, soft, beautiful………..clay.

The presence in the simplicity of clay. The smell of clay. The touch of clay. The sight of clay developing into my dreamed works in artistic forms and actually from my own hands. The belief of what clay represents in my world historically and emotionally. The tastes of what exists in my life when clay is involved. What clay represents in my abilities to truly listen and hear and understand what is around me and what sounds I reflect on when clay was present at that time in my life. What went on in the world surrounding me. What is garnered in knowledge of what clay has given me by simply being associated with my life over a ten year period. Simply? Handling and having clay in my life became something that, now I reflect on what happened and it’s influence, I could cry for it’s never being revisited for decades now. It was simplicity of basic material with the possibilities of becoming something truly beautiful. Moulded by the hands and mind to take on unlimited forms. Imagine it being newly discovered in my seaside shack.

I look at the photograph above. Look through those 3 windows above….and see dreams and possibilities.

The Tower above? It is your inner self. Not someone looking over you. It is the inner beacon of hope. It is the inherent you that you find in these times of taking a step back. Whispers to you. This is the time to find your essential you. The you that misses creativity. But! The Tower has an enemy. That enemy is your current ‘Mind’. It dwells on conscious activities of the past and what went on before all this? The Mind. Going…..coming…….fading…….re-emerging……heading now towards a distant horizon……..heading now back to your current life. Ebb and flow of monkey chatter. Stop the noise that your Mind makes. It’s time to re-evaluate the innermost you. Find clay…..again. Find you, yourself again.

It’s a phrase constant in my life at the moment? The Chattering Mind. The thoughts that keep reflecting on negativities. The Mind that harks to the past. The Mind that worries in the present and about the future. The Mind that wants to keep telling you that you will keep experiencing what you already know and readily believe. The Mind that says sit and wait….wait…..wait. Do nothing. Stay safe in your life. Don’t take chances. Stay with what you know. It’ll all come out ok. The result? Missed opportunities. Time to find new treasures and wished for’s. Step outside your mind.

“You….are not your Mind”. That Mind, in the isolation inside the seaside shack has temporarily gone. Faded. Return to the past by all means. But in doing so…..reflect on what you could create in isolation. Because, days, weeks, months and years from now you will find joy in the spiritual reflections of those new findings.

Sit outside your Mind and simply watch it’s chattering. Don’t engage with it. It’s trying desperately to influence you. Telling you of your weaknesses. Think of yourself as a single audience, sitting watching your Mind’s activities on a stage. That Tower? That ‘Something watching over me?’ Your inner ‘Tower Guardian’ separates you from the lifetime histrionics of what your Mind is consistently whispering inside the brain. The past ‘YOU’. You are sitting in a theatre watching the Mind, your Mind, perform it’s well worn stories to you and simply dropping little bombshells of advice that are there to rein you in and keep you questioning your weaknesses.

Now? One expression. Hold up your hand, Say…..”Please stop whispering and chattering and badgering….Mind”. It’s time to break free of the shackles of you……Mind I’m not listening to you saying ‘You can’t’. When actually….I can’. I absolutely can, and will, create.

So? In the photograph I am both the Tower that is my own inner guardian watching over myself. I am also inside the seaside shack which gives the chance of new found strengths. The Tower, my own self, will help in in realising Vision Quest form whispering ‘Here’s your opportunity to discover the newness of you’.

You are unique and you are able to break the chains that have bound you. Isolation has given you the chance to set yourself free. To create.

You know? I love the simplicity of clay. It changed my life in a beautiful way. And I yearn for it’s return…………

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